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Popping the Questions

Proposal Do's and Don'ts

You have finally made the decision that this is the woman you want to marry. But how are you going to ask her? We've got some pointers to help you create a moment that will make her heart leap with delight.

Surprise her, but not too badly.
According to women, one of the things that makes a proposal great is that it isn't anticipated. However, you don't want to surprise her on the third date with a diamond ring. If the two of you having been committed to one another for a period of time and have discussed marriage and your future together (and are in agreement that you want to marry), you probably have a green light.

Don't wait too long.
We're not trying to hurry you into a marriage, but we know that the fear of proposing is what keeps some guys from taking this step. If she loves you, she would rather have a tardy proposal than none at all, but timing still counts. Many women will not wait around hoping that someday you will propose. When the time is right, you will know and need to act upon this knowledge.

Create the proposal of her dreams . . . not yours.
This is the perfect moment to show her how much you love and understand her. Create a proposal that will melt her heart, not necessarily one that your buddies would think is cool. So unless she is an avid football fan, a proposal during half time of the BYU football game may not be the best choice.

The location counts.
Picking a memorable location can make all the difference in your proposal. However, this does not mean you have to fly to a deserted island or climb a mountain. Find a location that is significant and special, like where you went on your first date or a quiet, romantic spot you both enjoy.

Unless she is expecting an audience, keep your proposal private.
Most women prefer a private or semi-private proposal. You're both more likely to be genuine and sincere if you are not surrounded by an audience.

Don't read too much into her reaction.
This is the moment she has been waiting for, and she has probably played it out in her mind many times. And yet, it's not likely to happen the way she thought it would, or even as you thought it would. She may or may not cry. She may be so overwhelmed that the tears don't come like she thought they would. She may even laugh in her joy.

The only bad reaction is a refusal. If she does say no, don't panic. Talk through it, and find out why she is not ready. She may need some more time before she can say yes.

Just do it.
You don't need to stage some elaborate event. Most women like a quiet, romantic moment with a good old-fashioned "Will you marry me?" It's easier than you think.